Love the hair.
James Franco’s WhoSay pictures
Im so sad…why wud James delete his tweeter and whosays account? This is not fair for his fans. Nahh…whatever. Be well James….
I had a feeling today, as if I wanted to turn back time so badly. It is not like i never feel like this before, but the intensity is different right now.
It becoming more obvious each day, and I think that this is the moment where I can no longer tolerate it anymore. As if this desire is a chronic illness that require suicide to ends the pain. As if turning back time is a decision that awaited to be executed. As if it is something possible, something can be done, except that it requires one to undergo a long painful journey as it’s rule and regulation before he allowed to make up his mind.
If only it is.
If only it is.
But it is not.
No, it is not.
I can not turn back time. No matter how much I want to. So, what should I do to correct my dark history? Not that i had done anything distasteful or ugly. It just that ugly and distasteful things happened to me. If only I see it coming. If only I had live life slightly differently. They say, one small things can change many important things. If only i had wear my clothes in different color in different days. Maybe it will help.
I know, you may say changing what happened in the past is very impossible. Even with a time machine. The future outcome could be worse. So, it best not to change anything in the past.
But what I was trying to say was, …..I want to turn back time and live life ,differently. Slightly different will do good.
What I was trying to say,…how wonderful could it be if turning back time is possible…It gives one hope. Dont you think so? No matter how ridiculously bad the future will turn out as a result of what changed in the past, It makes one hang on, as if there is still avenues where their issues can be resolved.
This is the month I am trying to get a new blog. In those few years back, I have blogged with couples of different accounts but they were unsuccessful (?).
I wanted a new blog, particularly because Im beginning a new life.
I wanted August to start off with happiness, something more cheerful, less depress than like my previous writing. But, seems like it didn’t turn out so.
My plan was, to write about my master degree planning. I supposed to start off this month of august, about MST (microbial source tracking) but my supervisor’s grant has been rejected, at last minute.
Then I applied to medical faculty in microbiology related fields. I didnt get good respond and rejected once by …well..physic-medical Prof..(what the heck I was thinking?). Well, they said they were looking for science fresh graduates, so, thats me rite? Well, it turn out that the ‘science’ here means physics. Not microbiology.
When my friend introduced me to her senior and asked me to work in Cancer Virology field, I had this vision telling me to go get something better. So, I passed the opportunities/ job vacancy to my other friends.
Cancer Virology is my world, something I love so much. Its the one thing that got me attached so much in microbiology. Despite the fact Nasar Barney D-ized (giving me D) in her virology class, due to her personal issues with me (Mind u..she has personal issues with everybody in this world and D is the only nice thing she can gave to her student, relatively compared to her fu**terrible way of teaching-I swear)…But I managed way, way better grade in Advance Virology (taught by Dr L). So, I dont see me having more problem with Virology than the lecturer having problem with everybody else in the world. Narcissist!!
You must be wondering what is that ‘something better” than Cancer Virology that I passionate so much?
The answer is - Working in a bank. Citibank.
My best friend introduced me to the job, and keep on telling me about all the good opportunities there.
I……am torn. I wanted to have my master degree, I wanted to have a phD before I turn 30,….I wanted to be like James Franco in a way. I always think I would never suit corporate world nor working in money/finance/business thing. But I have to make my decision. I need money now. We all need money,…and i need it before, later, not only now. But it seems that I need it now, as in NOW! I need a break…i need to get away…i need to have my mind thinking about something else than what I have always do. So, i need a good job with super high pay. And the answer is this bank.
And I passed all the 3 interviews this week, with good comments from all of my interviewer.I passed it with flying colours. SO, why not?
In microbiology, i dont think I will pass all the interviews. Not saying im that stupid, but i never meet anyone who will ever be satisfied no matter how good you are. And im tired of that. We was not in prolific environment where you are allowed to think or act creatively. And I cant prolific!
All i need is waiting for Citibank answer, and if things goes well, my new life will begin September 12th 2011. Few days after i turn 25.
In my final interview, i asked the manager who interviewed me.
”What do you think of me?”
She smiled. ”Well, I dont want to think about you now. But to be honest, you have the opportunities to work here. You can communicate very well and you are very confidence. But I need to look at other candidates first before i made my decision”
So, let’s take time and let her look at other candidates while I keep my finger crossed all the time.